The Non-Start


We had another run-in with the RNLI who have become our personal rescue service these days.  They should re-brand with the slogan ‘Towing Seahorse Most Weeks’.  We could make them a film and everything to promote it.  Our short trip to Eel Pie Island was over before it even started as the engine failed as soon as we had untied all the ropes.  We were then left dithering sideways mid-river while the tide pushed us towards towards Kew Bridge.

I was watching Pat as it happened and he said:  ‘Why aren’t you moving faster?’ (To the accelerator stick with the bobble on top that I am a bit afraid of’).  And then he said ‘Fuck’ as the engine sort of died.  Then he stuck his head out of the window of the wheelhouse at Louis who was helping us with the journey and said ‘Fuck’ at him, as though it was a command.  Then he ordered me downstairs with the kids, to be honest I had already decided that would be the best place for us.  Sammy had no idea what was going on and was happily chewing on his bottle.  Nina said ‘Oh.  But I want to go to Eel Pie Island’. And then ‘I’m hungry’.  And finally ‘ I’m going to put my rollerskates on’.  Perfect footwear for the situation.

I do believe I kept my cool as the boat drifted.  I ran up and down the stairs a few times, looked about, told Nina to keep Sammy still and got my phone from the bedroom.  I took a picture and put it on Instagram and then I asked Pat if I should call someone meaningful.  Pat meanwhile had put the anchor down and called the coastguard saying PAM PAM Seahorse a few times.  (I love PAM PAM!  How exciting- I might start all my conversations with PAM PAM, makes everything sound more energetic. PAM PAM Simone here.)

Even though we had put the anchor down the boat was still drifting and that was alarming.  Happily, we were drifting through the central arch of the bridge which is better than into it.

SO to cut a not very exciting rest of story short, the RNLI appeared, saved the day and towed us back 10 metres to our mooring.  We nearly squashed a few rowers.  FUN TIMES.  So we were back where we first began a few hours later and a bit paler.  Pat was particularly pale and I felt a bit sad for him as he had been very excited about the little trip and the independence of it all.  Just ‘popping’ to eel pie island to have the boat re-painted.  It takes a lot to ruffle the fur on that old sea dog. Well, he’s more a barge dog really.  Yes.  Disappointing but not too disastrous.