We’ve bought a new TV. It’s four times bigger than the old TV. Which was so small that it was like watching TV on a mobile phone.
We installed it earlier. Let me start from the beginning. In the shop we decided that a 32inch TV would be way too big. (WE WERE RIGHT). But, in the heat of the moment it became apparent that it was essential for us to have the 32inch TV. If we were to be sitting more than 3 metres away from it, then 32inch was the only option. And 26 inch would be far too small, barely visible in fact.
So now I am sitting pinned to the side of the boat as far away from the thing as I can get because everyone in it is bigger than me. I DO NOT AGREE WITH THIS. No one should be bigger than me in my own front room. Apart from real live people.
Pat has told me that we will review the situation in the morning. And perhaps exchange it for a smaller one. Which, incidentally, is more EXPENSIVE. Right now I am a bit scared, a bit disappointed and mostly confused. I never wanted a big TV. Pat and I don’t even watch TV. We talk and drink wine by our lovely fire, or watch the river through our nice-sized windows, or cook food on our reasonably-sized cooker. We just wanted a screen big enough to see from the sofa. A screen big enough to watch films on. Which is why we got carried away in the shop. Imagining those crinkly Hollywood faces pressed against the shiny black frame, wooing us with their gritty, filmy ways.
But it’s one thing watching a film BIG, and another altogether watching the news, or adverts BIG. People on TV should never, EVER be so big or so highly defined. People in FILMS are allowed to be HUGE, super-sized, enormous. But the TV folk- they do not benefit from size and quality exaggeration. It makes them bad. Bad people.
(I know this is not a big deal in the greater scheme of things, but I am actually quite surprised by the effect it’s having on me.)
Maybe I’ll get used to it?? Maybe I don’t want to. Every time I look up from behind my laptop they’re there shouting at me from across the room. Maybe I’m completely MAD and this is a very normal size for a TV. Right now, I feel thoroughly invaded. And a bit tearful.