I knew it would be bad, but I didn’t know it would be quite as GRUESOME as this. So, in February they turfed out the friendly eco-village gang who lived on the plot of land opposite our mooring in order to commence building a new development. The thing is, they haven’t realised that their plot is actually in Brentford.
Check it out:
IT’S IN BRENTFORD.
BRENTFORD, BRENTFORD, BRENTFORD, BRENTFORD. (See how it’s just vanished from the map! How funny!)
When did the world go mad? When was it decided that holding a jacket over your shoulder using just one finger would be an exciting way to live? This delightful contraption, that has been beautifully designed to look just like a boat (you can tell from the fact that it’s made only of glass and emeralds) will be my new view. But doesn’t it look like a boat, though? You can almost see Leornardo and Kate strung-up on the penthouse, sipping champagne (from their local Morrisons) through those narrowed, sexy-beady eyes! SEXY! Skips ahoy! Let’s give the chumps a home! In BRENTFORD!
POOR, jellied-eeled, silenced, lovely, old, industrial, scabby and above all, CONFUSED, Brentford. It deserves better. (I could write a dissertation on this but I’m reigning it in).
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